So Meaty!

My neighbor, Mrs. Benson, had been married four times. Each time the marriage lasted a total of two years and ended with the husband leaving to never been seen again. Except for the first husband who still lived in the town. The original Mr. Benson.

It was said that Mr. Benson had also been married a few times and his wives left him never to be seen again. Some in the town suspected they met the spouse of the other Benson and went together.

Mrs. Benson took the sudden departure of each husband pretty well, almost too well. She would have a party every time and invited everyone, including Mr. Benson. Mr. Benson was always happy to oblige.

“This year we're having a barbecue” Mrs. Benson announced as I opened the door. “Be there at seven sharp!”

Before that it had been meat fondue and before that some sort of stew. There would always be plenty of leftovers for everyone to take home. My own freezer was full of Mrs. Benson's party food.

At seven I showed up and found people already digging into Mrs. Benson's barbecue. She gave me a plate piled high with vegetables.

“I made this special for you.” She said. “I remembered you don't eat meat.”

“Thank you.” I graciously took the plate. “Glad you remembered.”

“Oh you're just so darling, Ian!” Mrs. Benson gushed. “If you weren't so young I'd made you number five!”

I sat next to Mr. Benson who was gnawing on a rib bone with Mrs. Benson's homemade sauce dripping off of it.

“My boy, when are you going to get married?” Mr. Benson asked with pieces of meat hanging off his teeth. “Boy handsome as you must have the girls dying to be asked out.”

“I haven't given it much thought to be honest.”

“Well boy, start giving it a thought!”

“Oh leave the boy alone, Gerald!” Mrs. Benson said, sitting next to Mr. Benson. “How's that rib?”

“Cooked nice and tender.” Mr. Benson answered. “Just like I taught you.”

“All in the way you tenderize the meat.” Mrs. Benson replied. “Just like you taught me.”

I watched them as I gnawed on my carrot sticks. They seemed the perfect couple and one would wonder why their marriage didn't last. As I finished my plate of vegetables Mrs. Benson handed me a package.

“For your dogs.” She said. “No sauce on these. Don't want to upset their tummies.”

“They'll enjoy it, thanks.” I graciously took the package.

“There's a surprise in it for you too.”

My dogs met me at the gate their tags wagging furiously, waiting for their treat.

“Down!” I said sternly.

Buster and Beulah sat, their tails still wagging.

“Good dogs.”

I opened the package to find the treats and a ring attached to one of them. A gold wedding band that looked quite a bit like the ring husband number four wore. I tossed the dogs their treat and they laid down, happily chewing the fingers from number four's hands.

Watching them enjoy the treat made me a bit hungry and I thought of Jill who made the best hamburgers. Her steaks weren't all that bad either. She was just so meaty and tender.